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Shandathe
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| | Current Music: | the murmur of my fellow geeks. | | Subject: | Yay! | | Time: | 05:26 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/nerdy_hammy.gif) geeky |
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| Well, hopefully today will go quickly. Who knows. It's already 5:26, but somehow I get the feeling that this last hour will DRAG!!
I just sent a message to Garion. Yee.
Anyway, I updated the good ol' Amazon and ThinkGeek wishlists. Yay! Anybody wants to buy me presents, give up the lovin'!
I'll update more later.
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| | Current Music: | da vinci's notebook- metal shop | | Subject: | oi. | | Time: | 01:28 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/moody_hammy.gif) blah |
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| for some reason, i am sad. it could be the music that i am listening to. it could be the fact that i am at my parents' house for the first time in 2.5 years, and that i am homesick for my own things in my most recent lodging. it could be that it is 1:28 in the am and i am exhausted.
it could also be the fact that i am just plain old miserable. i really don't know anymore. it's hard to think about exactly what thorns are in my paw these days.
it could be chesh. he is my other, yet what an unhappy other he can be. he has drawn an unfortunate lot in life- less fortunate than mine- yet when upset, he has an uncanny knack for extending his misery to anyone who crosses his path.
we used to be so happy. i miss puppy love. it was blissful.
and today- enter garion. he's become an interesting variable in my life now. i had adopted him, as i do all my friends. i just don't know how close this will end up and i do believe that i have become terrified of it.
can i just twirl a twister spinner and have it point to the drustan right for me? where is MY cruarch of alba? and why can't i have my march down the rabbit hole, through the whole of terre d'ange to the palace steps? why can't i have white petals and lily of the valleys thrown at me as i realize my destiny?
i guess i'm realizing that i just want to be a character in a book, not the author. someone else write this story, please? i've made a royal mess of it so far. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Please excuse both my randomness and my horrible spelling
ba-da-ba-da-ba-dum-de-dum
ba-da-da-dum-de-dum
Gather 'round ye lads and lassies, sit you for a while
And harken to me mournful tale about the emerald isle
Let's all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone
and lift our voices in another irish drinking song
consumption took my mother and me father got the pox
me brother drank the whisky till he wound up in a box
me other brother in the troubles met with his demise
me sister has forever closed her smilin' irish eyes.
now everybody's died, so until our tears have dried
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink
and then we'll drink somemore
we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
Kenny killed in killkenny, Claire, she died in Claire,
Tip in Tiperrary died out in the dairieerr
Shannon jumped into the river shannon back in june
ernie fell into the urn, and tommy's in the tomb
cleanliness is godliness me uncle tom would sing
he broke his neck a-slippin' on the bar of irish spring
O' grady he was 80, though his bride was just a pup
he died upon the honeymoon when she got his irish up
now everybody's died, so until our tears have dried
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink
and then we'll drink somemore
we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
ba-dup (mexican hat dance)
Joe murphy fought with riley near the cliffs of old dennine
he took out his shilleighlie and he stabbed him in the spleen
and crazy uncle mike thought he was a leprechaun
but in fact he's just a leper and his arms and legs are gone
when davy johnson broke his neck it was a cryin' shame
he wasn't really irish, but he went to notre dame
macnamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit
but he was just a scotsman so nobody gives an (augh!)
now everybody's died, so until our tears have dried
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink
and then we'll drink somemore
we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
da (hava nagila)
me drunken uncle brandon tried to drive home from the bar
the road rose up to meet him when he fell out of the car
irony was what befell me great grand uncle sam
he choked upon the very last potato in the land
connor lived in ulstertown, he used to smuggle arms
until the british caught him and cut off his lucky charms
and dear old mother flanagan who left the the lord's sweet eye
drunk on sacramental wine beneath the altar boy
now everybody's died, so until our tears have dried
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink
and then we'll drink somemore
we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
someday soon i'll leave this world of pain and toil and sin
the lord will take me by the hand to join all of my kin
me only wish is when the savior comes for me and you
he kills the cast of riverdance and michael flatley too
now everybody's died, so until our tears have dried
we'll drink and drink and drink and drink
and then we'll drink somemore
we'll dance and sing and fight until the early morning light
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again
Then we'll throw up, pass out, wake up,
and then go drinking once again!!
Hoey! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | My LiveJournal Sitcom |
|---|
| Death to the Muffin (FOX, 9:00): Shandathe (Louise Brooks) convinces matthais (Catherine Bell) to buy a english muffin, then borrows a beef jerky to impress a secretary. Schnerf (John Turturro) hits on a co-worker. Shandathe then tells wildrice13 (Emma Caulfield) about Scientology. Zany antics ensue. TV-14. (Part 2 of 2.) | | What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern) |
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| i'm so tired of nothing going right.
i just sent away for an application to the border's group. i looked it over, and realized that all of my problems fell into the "not-elegable for grant money" catagory... maybe they'll cut me a break. please.
otherwise... what the hell can i do? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | c bitching at me while playing madden '04 | | Subject: | yee. | | Time: | 10:35 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/angry_hammy.gif) angry |
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yarg.
i want to go home.
so where is it? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I never noticed how I lost it all.
It slipped away with every mile that I ran away from home.
And even now, ever painfully,
the only thing that I can realize is the truth.
I never had a dream to live
because no one ever told me that I could.
And all that I can taste now
is the phantom bittersweet of regret.
This angst isn't what I want,
but the imperfections gnaw at me.
And I can't see the forest through the trees.
I want someone to take me by the hand
and show me how each tree becomes the whole,
and tell me why those things are why they are.
Though I do feel someone pulling, someone tugging, someone trying,
that's all can I feel until sorrow overwhelms me
for the lack of longing for my enlightenment.
When my tears clear the mist away
and the samaritans stop trying...
I still can't see the forest through the trees. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Pillows- FLCL soundtrack | | Subject: | hi, i'm a geek. | | Time: | 01:38 am | | Current Mood: | geeky |
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| -BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-
Version: 3.1
GCC/FA/L/MU/PA/O d-(x)(+) s++:+ a?(---) C++ U--- P--- L- E-- W--- N* o+++ K--- W+++++ O M-- V PS+ PE++ Y+++ PGP+ t+ 5++ X++ R*(+++) tv+ b+++++ DI +++ D++++ G e*(+) h*(=) r++ Z+++(*)
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just thought i'd share. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | vash still whining. | | Subject: | i just realized | | Time: | 01:14 am | | Current Mood: | angry |
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| dude. this sucks. i just realized that i have been so totally used by two people who i thought loved me.
not like it should matter at this point, but sara, my once best friend and girlfriend, has called me a cheating whore. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
anyway, enough of that. i just looked at my old journal for the first time in a loooong time, and i realized that i miss that. i miss north, i miss everything. i don't want to be on my own anymore. but...
we all know how that goes.
oh, and did anybody win the lottery yet?
p.s.- all yous guys who are still my friends- i love you all. you rock so much.
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| | Current Music: | vash (the stampede) bitching about something on trigun on tv | | Subject: | sigh... | | Time: | 12:50 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/worried_hammy.gif) anxious |
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| in response to andy-roo's entry: if you build the castle, can i live there?
yes, my friends, therein lies (one of) today's (many) problem(s). housing. bah. c's mom is giving me the "while i do really like you, 7 months in my house is more than enough. gah. so where the hell can i go? i realize that this is the order of things i need to do- dr.'s apointment, license, car, house, etc. i just can't afford it on $400 a month. and i've got mixed feelings aboout welfare. i could go on it... but my pride is kinda sayin' nah.
sigh.
could somebody win the lottery for me? i don't need much, only 10,000$. (I can't even get a credit card... not enough income...)
in other news, 3 and a wake-up and c's home. yay!
in other other news, it's really friggin hard to type with extra-long fake nails. i'm givin' em a try. i like the way they look, but they significantly reduce both my typing speed and accuracy. augh.
in other other other news, i dyed my hair. it's a kinda indy-punk-rebellious-purple-reddish. it's also shorter and layered. i like it.
in other other other other news, somebody send me a new lead-in for my paragraphs.
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| why is my life so blah?
i have a job. i have a boyfriend. i have a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear... for now...
so why am i so frustrated?!?
i have a part time job at waldenbooks. it's not bad, but with only 30 hours a week at six dollars an hour, i don't get much cash after taxes. and there's no benefits because i'm only part time. yargh. i just hope i don't need health insurance anytime soon.
and i have no car yet. i can't afford to go the doctor's office which you have to do in pennsylvania before you get a permit. sooo, no license... which means... no car... which means i have to lug my ass everywhere either mooching rides or riding a bike... which maybe i can do soon. a good bike only costs 130 or so i think. but... auugh.
i did try to go back to school this semester, but pat didn't pay for it like she said she would. that's INFURIATING! now i have to pay for school too.
i wish this was easier. c's mom was talking to me about moving out last night. i'm kinda scared. i know i can't afford it on my current salary, but i've been so stressed and crazy and frigging exhausted that i don't think i could handle a second job right now.
c's sister in law thinks that her husband, c's brother, may be cheating on her. she reminds me of my mom and it's kinda scary. i really like her. i want her to be happy, but i don't want her to get divorced because then i'd feel funny dating c and being her friend. it'd put even more stress on me. see, c's mom and dad know about the situation, but they don't know that i know. and they probably wouldn't say anything anyway. and i can't tell c because he'd probably side with his family, but i don't know...... i don't know what to do.
and to top it all off, c's in california right now. yup. he left me here by myself for a month and a half. i think i'm going crazy. i feel all alone up here and i'm... just... eew...
so, i think i'll go call someone. i need human contact. ranting to a computer just isn't the same.
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| 
oh, dear god. i need to stop watching mash. last night i had a scary dream where i dated hawkeye and bj then hawkeye again. then the war was over and hawkeye and i got married. it was so very very weird. i need to stop watching mash. oi.
well, wait... let me clarify. as weird as it may seem, it wasn't a bad dream. just very very weird.
anyway, c's in california for a month and a half. i may get a promotion in a bit. and other than that... well, nothing. still looking for a car. still looking for a computer. still looking for someone to pay for me to go to school. oi.
anywho, i need sleep. hopefully no more mash dreams. wait... on second thought...
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| | Current Music: | c playing baldur's gate: dark alliances | | Subject: | so tired... | | Time: | 07:35 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/cranky_hammy.gif) frustrated |
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| i am tired and frustrated and blah. just not very friggin happy. i'm trying to find my cousin to help me pay for school like she's supposed to, but she, mysteriously, has disappeared off the face of the earth. yarrgh. add that on top of i want a car... no, scratch that, i need a car so i can just go places and get the hell out of here occasionally. i'm starting to go stircrazy. aaaaaah.
but enough about that. since i last wrote, i went to see two movies. one: x-2. loved it. especially jean gray. well, not jean gray exactly... more like her potential. i can't wait till the next movie. two: the matrix reloaded. i liked it. c was buh buh boo about it, though. he has issues with the story. i told him to shut up about the story and just enjoy everything else. he couldn't. he has a problem with suspending his disbelief. i can do it quite readily. i'm kinda gullible that way, i guess.
well, if anybody wants to make me feel better, they can buy me a present. here ya go, boys and girls. the boots i've always wanted:
http://store.museumreplicas.com/cgi-bin/www11650.storefront/3ec96e0d07d5668c274fd8f5a50206c4/Product/View/9187&2D1
yee-haw.
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| | Current Music: | the seatbelts- cowboy bebop theme | | Subject: | argh. | | Time: | 04:51 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/twotone/hamsters/scared_hammy.gif) scared |
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| yay. i am now not officially employed by wally-world. and a word of wisdom--- NEVER WORK THERE. especially if it's a deli. i could fill up pages and pages of stupid things that went on there... but i won't. livejournal doesn't have enough bandwidth.
hopefully i'll have a new job over at waldenbooks. yee. it'll only be part time, but i'll take what i can get. unless you're a telemarketer or a truck driver, there's not much work in this town. eep.
the rear differencial on c's truck went. no truck. $2800 to fix it. oi. can somebody either win the lottery for me or send me a million dollars? thanks.
but, meh. i've got to go find a decent present for c's birthday. oi. both of us with no cash, no car, and a minimum wage job. happy 19th birthday, shan. ain't life grand?
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | c playing madden football 2003 | | Subject: | meh. | | Time: | 08:14 pm | | Current Mood: | geeky |
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| it's been a long time, no? yes. jeees. of courze it haz, don't be ridiculoz.
enough with the balki. anyway, when we last left our heroine, she was working at a horrible telemarketing job. well, she's since gotten smarter and started working at the wally-world deli. (trust me, it's an upgrade.)
i'm sitting here writing and realizing that i actually miss my old name. it's been a while since i've written in it, but who knows. I have no idea what's going on. eh.
well, i've since also started playing a different larp. wyvern rising. it absolutely rocks. hopefully i'll be able to recruit some new people to come to it. it'll be fun. it is fun.
yeehaw for nonsensical ramblings.
well, i guess i should go get back to my webpage. no rest for the geeky.
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| well, i've gone and done it... my plans for returning to keystone are no more. i got an e-mail today telling me that i'm not going back next semester. great. so now what? i have no back up plan yet. i'm scrambling frantically to find one. anyone have any thoughts on how i'm going to pull this off? no? that's what i thought.
i hope i can do this.
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| well, i've gone and done it... my plans for returning to keystone are no more. i got an e-mail today telling me that i'm not going back next semester. great. so now what? i have no back up plan yet. i'm scrambling frantically to find one. anyone have any thoughts on how i'm going to pull this off? no? that's what i thought.
i hope i can do this.
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i just watched a beautiful mind, you know, the movie about john nash? the one with russell crowe? well, if you haven't, don't read this entry, because i disclose and fume about some of the plot.
anyway, it turns out that john nash has schitzophrenic paranoia along with his brilliance, yet manages to use his brilliance to overcome the paranoia...
here's where i get pissed. why can't my mom be like that? her manic depression and paranoia... she could overcome it! sure, she's not as brilliant as john nash, but she's a very smart woman... but she refuses to see that she can help herself. and she won't. it hurts. i've been living with it for a long time now, ever since i can remember. it was one of the two reasons my dad left... he couldn't stick it out like john's wife, i guess. i don't know.
i don't think john nash was crazy for his whole life. crazy people don't have the ability to distinguish right from wrong, or at least that's what my mom's doctors told me when i broke down crying in their office the last time she was committed and hysterically demanded that they fix her. anyway, i think john nash was crazy until he jumped in front of his wife's car in a rainstorm when she was trying to leave him and told her that marcy wasn't real because she never got older. after that, he was just a genius who was sick. he had a mental illness that he will never be rid of... a chemical imbalance? i don't know, maybe. apparently the drugs gave him the strenght to realize the truth about his delusions. but they don't do that for mom.
i'm still very confused and angry about the whole thing, despite the fact that it began to happen fifteen or so years ago... i just never got a chance to work it out. this movie just brought everything to the surface again.
i feel like i'm nothing more than an abandoned child, alone and ignored. i know that's not it. c's been more than enough help at times, but sometimes, life just sucks enough for me to get frustrated, even with that much help.
anyway, i need to go get out of the house. otherwise i'll wallow in my own self pity until i go back to school. unfortunately, i can't think of anything to do that doesn't cost money and gets me the hell out of here.
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i have no idea how tolkien did it. the man was a twisted genius. his languages are increadible.
anyway, i'm attempting to find a website that has elven names and their translations for the new larp i'm going to play. (larp= a rampant d&d game where we run around in a state park and bash people with overgrown nerf bats made out of plumbing supplies.) it's called wyvern rising, and it's being run by a couple of friends of mine. you should all go. it starts in april, i think. it will be FUN!
anyway, i'm going to play an elven mage, and i have no idea just what my name is going to be. i thought of using shandathe, as i do here, but i don't think that i'll want to write in my journal if i stop playing the character... and then what would i do for fun?!? the web is actually being of little to no help... maybe i'll put together my own page! but eh, who knows. here are the links that i found so far...
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Tower/1312/elfnames.html
http://www.freehost05.websamba.com/elvesrealm/articles/elvennames.asp
http://www.cs.nott.ac.uk/~lad/fh/background/elves/names.html
http://www.liquid2k.com/arahin/elvish.html
i'm sure i'll figure it out at some point, but, eh, who knows?
in other news, i wrote school a "please don't throw me out" letter. i hope they listen. oi.
anyway, i'm off to plan my elf! yay!
[end transmission] | | comments: Leave a comment |
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Shandathe
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